Which day would you choose?
You wake up in the morning and it’s a beautiful sunny day. The birds are singing and you’re feeling great. Happy and full of energy for the day ahead. As usual you go into the bathroom to get ready, and then see you the scales out of the corner of your eye. You think to yourself that you’re feeling so great, that you’re sure you’ve lost a kg or two and so decide to jump on the scales to confirm this for you. So you jump on, and look down and...WTF??? Surely that must be a mistake. There’s no possible way you can be feeling this good but have put on 2kg? You get off the scales, reset them, go to the toilet (as that must have been what the issue was!) and then tentatively step back on them, but aaarrrggghhh, they’re still showing 2kg heavier! You think to yourself, ‘What an idiot thinking you would have lost weight! You’re so useless, as if you would have been able to lose weight, you can’t do anything.’ You jump in the shower noticing every single lump and bump and judging yourself for them. You walk past the mirror on the way to the wardrobe and give yourself a look of disgust as you go past. It takes you ages to decide what to wear as you feel huge in everything but end up settling for an all black outfit, to try and blur into the background and hope no-one notices you.
Your happy mood has well and truely disappeared and at lunchtime you decide, ‘Sod it! I’m useless anyway, I may as well just eat whatever I want’ and get burger, fries and a cake for afters. This gives you a quick boost but then back comes the negative self talk - ‘Oh for God’s sake, you can’t even be good for one meal. What is actually wrong with you?’.
Your friend asks if you want to come over that evening to catch up as you’ve not seen each other for ages, but you’re feeling sorry for yourself and just want to go home and hibernate, so decline and make up some story about already having plans. After writing off the whole day, you open a bottle of wine and some chocolate and binge watch your latest Netflix series before heading to bed way later than planned, having a little cry and falling to sleep.
You wake up in the morning and it’s a beautiful sunny day. The birds are singing and you’re feeling great. Happy and full of energy for the day ahead. As usual you go into the bathroom to get ready, and then see you the scales out of the corner of your eye. You decide you’re not getting on them as you don’t care what they say. You feel great and that’s all that matters. You jump into the shower and then smile to yourself as you walk past the mirror to the wardrobe. You choose something bright to match your sunny mood and head off to work.
At lunchtime you eat the meal you brought with you, which tastes so yum and get outside for a walk with friends. It’s a gorgeous day and you all treat yourselves to an ice cream, which taste divine and you enjoy every single mouthful.
Your friend asks if you want to come over that evening to catch up as you’ve not seen each other for ages, sounds like a great plan. She’s cooked you a meal and you both have a glass of wine, and have a great evening together. You’ve been noticing how much better you feel when you get to bed at a reasonable time and so you head home, jump into bed and read a couple of chapters of the fab book you’re reading and then turn your lights out ready for a great night’s sleep.
Which option would you choose? Which option do you choose?
Whilst you might not have experienced that exact day before, does option 1 resonates with you at all? If so, consider the questions below:
What has physically changed from before you stepped on the scales when you were happy and full of energy and after?
What are you actually weighing when you weigh yourself?
I’d like to suggest that when we weigh ourselves, we’re actually weighing our self worth. We decide how worthy or not we are depending on the number that shows on the scale. Just take a moment to think about that. If you’re completely honest, do you agree with this statement? (zero judgment from me here as I was regularly choosing option 1 in the past).
Imagine instead of needing a scale, that your new measure of success was simply how good you felt. You wouldn’t need to weigh yourself as you know if you’re looking after yourself by eating well, sleeping well, moving regularly and managing your stress, you’ll be doing all you need to do. And yes, like in option 2 above, you do sometimes mindfully choose to eat ice cream or drink wine or whatever the hell you want to do, because that’s your choice. But you’re also in tune with your body and you want to feel good, so that is why it’s easy for you to choose what makes you feel good. You know what gives you energy and what takes it away. What creates stress and anxiety and what relieves it. So every decision you make, you make mindfully knowing how it will make you feel. You don’t label anything ‘good food’ or ‘bad food’, it’s just food, and food is energy, which you now have in abundance. Does that sound appealing?
So how do you get there?
Stop hating yourself and start showing yourself some love and compassion.
You are amazing, so treat yourself that way! Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend.
Ask yourself, how do you want to feel and how can you take steps to move towards that goal? And ditch judging yourself. Instead get curious about your decisions and if they’re supporting you towards your goal.
Focus on the four main areas that contribute to your overall wellbeing: Sleep, food, movement and mental wellbeing. When you try positive changes in these areas, notice how you feel. If you feel good and you notice that, you’re more likely to want to repeat the behaviour.
Our bodies are constantly trying to communicate with us but many of us are out of tune and don’t listen. Tune in to your body’s wavelength and use that feedback to guide you.
Self awareness is key to sustainable habit change. Raising your awareness of your self sabotaging behaviours means you can consciously choose to stop them.
Question those negative self-limiting stories in your head. It’s your body’s way to try and keep you safe. When you decide to make a change, the old part of your brain gets scared and so will do anything to keep you where you are. Everything action we do or belief we hold has a positive intention for us. Unfortunately though, they are a bit outdated and so we need to lovingly challenge them and unpack the beliefs behind them to move forward.
Whatever you want to achieve, be it weight loss, manage or get rid of chronic illness, get more energy, learning to manage stress and anxiety, move more, better sleep quality or just overall improved wellbeing, let your success be measured by how good you feel and you’ll be amazed at what you achieve!
If you prioritise yourself, show yourself some love and feel amazing, imagine what could open up for you in other areas of your life!
Change can be tricky and your mind will often work against you. It's not so easy to just get rid of that negative self talk and judgement. So, if you need some help, support and accountability or if you want to unpack those self limiting beliefs, I’d love to help you. Want to find out more about how I can help? Contact me now and claim your first 30 minutes free.
Published 20 June 2020