How to be ok when you're not ok.

If years had theme tunes, 2020's could be Ronan Keating's "Life is a rollercoaster" and to be honest as much as I like rollercoasters, stop the ride now, I want to get off!

You could argue that life is always a rollercoaster as you never really know what's going to happen, which is true, but in a normal year we're all on our rollercoasters at different times. Some of us would be flying high when others may be in a dip. Where as this year we're all, to some extent, on the same rollercoaster. I don't think I've ever experienced so many different emotions in such a short space of time before, whilst also confined with others and trying to cope with their similar waves of emotions.

So how can you manage all those feelings and emotions so you don't lose the plot? How can you help yourself to be ok when you're not feeling ok?

First - Step back and breathe

And know, it's ok to not be ok. All those feelings you're feeling, that's completely normal. Don't ignore them, accept them knowing the feelings will pass. They always do. Take a second to think about a time when you felt this way before and remember how that passed and you went on to have great days, even during 2020. Whatever you are going through, you will get through this.

Take a step back. Take a breath. You've got this.

Next ask yourself "What do I really need right now?"

Learning to tune into yourself and understand what you need in the moment is key. It's also one way to stop automatic behaviours, like eating the contents of the fridge when actually what you needed was a hug and for someone to listen. Notice how you feel after you've got what you thought you needed. Was it what you wanted, or was it something else?

Create a daily gratitude practice

Gratitude is the antidote to stress. Try it now.....think about one of two things that you're grateful for, big or small. How do you feel? A little bit better right?

Take one day at a time

How many times in the past have you spent days, weeks or even months or years worrying about something that may happen, that never does. All that time and energy spent, all that stress and worry and it never happened. And if it did happen, was it as bad as you thought? Did you survive? In hindsight, would it have been better to just deal with it if it happened?

There are only two days in the year when nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live ~ Dalai Lama

Focus on what you can control

Make a list of what you can control and what you can't control. Stressing about what you can't control will get you nowhere (apart from further down the stress path). Let go of what you can't control and focus your time and energy on what you can control.

Treat yourself like a best friend