Have you ever found yourself laying in bed and wondering "Is this it? Is this my life? Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?"
That's exactly where I found myself several years ago, but I can categorically tell you that it is not it and life can be extremely different. You don't have to stay stuck but YOU are the only one that can change it.
We often go through life feeling like it's happening to us, like we have no control over how we feel and that we'll be happy when ........ (fill in the blank). But actually that happiness never seems to arrive for more than a few days at a time and you soon find yourself back once again pondering "Is this it?" The truth of the matter is that everyday we have a choice, in fact we have hundreds of choices everyday that we make that creates our reality. Many of those choices are made unconsciously which makes us feel out of control but what could happen if we started to make more choices mindfully?
So where do I start you may be wondering?
All too often when we're not happy where we are, we make knee jerk decisions to do something different without thinking it through, without considering if that is exactly what we want, because we're so desperate to be experiencing something different. Knee jerk decisions have us running away from our current life but with no plan and normally end up with us back where we started feeling more fed up. So what we want is to create a plan that has us moving towards what we want.
So start by asking yourself if you could create any life you wanted, what would that look like? If you're still stuck, start to brainstorm. Grab a pen and piece of paper and write down what any ideas that come to mind (don't dismiss any random thoughts that come us as that's often your subconscious mind contributing - and there's a lot of wisdom there!).
Consider things such as:
- what lights you up
- what drives you
- what makes you happy
- what gives you a sense of purpose
To make any change in your life, you need three steps ~ Let Go, Nourish and Create. For all these steps self awareness is key to notice what you're experiencing (see last month's blog on why self awareness is the magic ingredient for all change). So taking the time to reflect will help you to notice what makes you feel good and moves you forward, and what has the opposite effect. When you notice these things you can create more change to keep you moving forward.
Once you have an idea of what you want your life to look like, it's time to reflect on what you need to let go of to move you forward. This could be behaviours, beliefs, people or things in your environment.
Try asking yourself these questions:
What actions/beliefs/behaviours am I currently engaging in that are actually standing in my way?
What need are those beliefs and behaviours fulfilling for me?
How can I still fulfil those needs but in a way that still moves me forward?
It doesn't matter how many times you may have tried to change things in the past, the past doesn't dictate your future. Don't be put off by thinking you've tried everything before and nothing works. All those times have taught you something and you can use those learnings to move you forward. By taking the time to reflect and let go of things that are keeping you stuck, you are setting yourself up for success.
You will already be doing some things that are creating happiness and enjoyment in your life and so it's time to notice them and nourish them to create more of them. Ask yourself:
What beliefs/behaviours are currently serving me and helping me to move forward?
How can I cultivate more of them?
Where am I when I'm making choices in alignment with where I want to be?
Who am I with?
What am I feeling?
The final step is to create new things in your life to keep you moving and creating a life you love. It could be new ways of thinking, new beliefs, new situations, new physical things, new people or new practices. Open your mind to new things, to try new things and notice what happens. How do they make you feel? Not everything you try may have the desired effect but what can you learn from that? You're always moving forward when you're learning.
Questions to ask yourself:
What do I need to believe to get the life I love?
What do I need to give myself permission to do/be/have?
What blocks could I come across?
What can I do to navigate those blocks?
How can I set up support & accountability?
Creating new ways of thinking and being can take some time and patience but noticing the positive effects your changes are having makes it easier. If you notice you're feeling amazing, then why wouldn't you want to keep going?
Start each day by asking yourself "What small step can I take today that is going to move me forward?" Set an intention each day and then reflect and learn from that day's experiences.
Things to consider:
What time are you willing to allocate to making changes?
What are you willing to invest in yourself to get you to where you want to be?
What does your life look like in 6 months, 1 year, 5 years from now if you do nothing?
What could your life look like in that same time frames if you start taking those small steps today?
WHAT IS THE FIRST STEP YOU'RE TAKING TODAY?
If you're keen for some support to help you get your lust for life back and create a life you love, or maybe you're not sure yet what you want your life to look like but want some support to work that out. If this sounds like you, please get in touch. I offer a FREE 30 minute discovery call which may just be enough to get you going.
I also have a private FREE group for women. Come join our supportive community if you want to discover how to live a happier, healthier and more balanced life: https://www.facebook.com/groups/720743675376609
Create possibilities, create opportunities but don't create regrets!
Published 1 November 2020